Real Names for Blizzard Forums

In some ways, the Internet is like a medieval fantasy story.  The incompetent fools provide entertainment for the savvy much like a jester would for a king.  Websites build nations of loyal followers who take a fierce pride in their group, much like a king’s subjects would have pride in their kingdom.  Helpful communities provide assistance and guidance with technical issues in the way a shining knight would protect and assist the weak.  Less helpful communities provide insults and mockery when asked for help in the way a black knight would try to keep you from crossing a bridge.

And there are trolls.

No, not that kind of troll.

Trolls are evil creatures full of spite and mischief with physical features that not even a troll’s mother could consider attractive.  The same definition applies to the trolls of medieval fantasy.  Blizzard’s forums have been a major nexus of troll activity for quite some time, and it seems that Blizzard wants to take steps to catch them all in the sunlight.  Blizzard has announced that, prior to the July 27 release of StarCraft II, all user forum posts will be made using the user’s RealID, which consists of their first and last name.  The move is an attempt to battle the little-known, but much-experienced Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, wherein anonymity breeds trolling.

Negative responses have primarily focused on the public stigma associated with World of Warcraft players.  Many normal people play World of Warcraft.  Having their real name attached to a World of Warcraft account could cause damage to a person’s reputation if a potential employer or client researched them online.  Many female players, especially those who do not specify their sex online, have expressed concern that this could lead to a change in attitude towards them from other forum-goers (read as: lonely, horny nerds - it’s ok, I can say that because I used to be one) as well as e-stalking across other social networking sites.

While the change may indeed shame many trolls into returning to their human forms, I believe that those who are true trolls in heart and mind will continue their rampage, even without the sword and shield of anonymity equipped.


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2010 Xbox Live Summer of Arcade

Last month, E3 announced a few details for the Xbox Live Summer of Arcade games we could expect to see this summer, only one of which am I visibly excited for.  While we have been in the dark over the last few weeks as to when we could get our grubby little paws on some of these titles, our long, dark tea-time of the soul finally has an expiration date set.  Release dates and pricing have just been announced for this year’s Summer of Arcade titles.

All Summer of Arcade titles will go for 1200 MSP ($15) each.  There are some incentives for purchasing more than one title, if you’re on the fence about some of the games.  Purchase 3-4 of the Summer of Arcade titles, and you will receive 400 MSP back.  Purchase all five Summer of Arcade titles and you will receive 1200 MSP back, which comes out to a buy-four-get-one-free kind of deal.  If you’re going to buy all five anyway, this is great news.  If you’re only planning on buying one game (like me - although Limbo may find it’s way into my hands as well), it’s hardly worth the extra expense to get the incentive, but it’s still an appreciated gesture nonetheless.

And now, the details:

  • Limbo - 7/21 - Explore a unique and puzzling world to discover your sister’s fate.
  • Hydro Thunder Hurricane - 7/28 - Race over LIVE for wave supremacy in the sequel to the classic arcade racer.
  • Castlevania: Harmony of Despair - 8/04 - Dracula takes a bite out of Xbox Live arcade with “Castlevania: Harmony of Despair.”
  • Monday Night Combat - 8/11 - “Monday Night Combat” takes you into the most popular lethal sport of the future.
  • Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light - 8/18 - Check out Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light if adventure, exploration, and combat are what you crave!

The audacity they have in making me wait almost a full month for Castlevania is simply appalling.

-[insert :( here]

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Street Fighter High

It’s been about a week and a half since I posted anything (I’ll explain why in a post later this week), but I knew I would be remiss if I did not make this post now.  Back in May, I wrote about two Street Fighter fan films I found on the internet.  They were released within two days of each other, and were both very respectable efforts, to be sure.  What I missed, however, to both my detriment and yours, was a Street Fighter fan film that preceded both fan films from May.  I present to you, Street Fighter High.

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Street Fighter High follows the World Warriors before they were the World Warriors.  While the production quality, effects, costumes, actors, etc. may not be on par with Street Fighter: Legacy and Street Fighter: Beginning’s End, the sheer entertainment value alone propels it far above the two serious fan films from May.  Released in April 2010, Street Fighter High is a look at the World Warriors when their hearts were being broken, instead of their bones.

Did I mention that the Street Fighter High team is working on a sequel, with a plethora of new characters? Well, they are.

I, for one, can’t wait.

-[insert BLANKA IS A GINGER! here]

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Thank You Activision!

Alright friends of Meh, I promised that today we would be getting something special in the mail for our One Love for Chi/Blogathon fundraiser, and it’s here!

Originally the delivery was slated to arrive around 3 in the afternoon, so I was surprised when the FedEx guy came around 11. Each box weighs about 26 pounds, and it reminded me of the days when I worked at GameStop as an Assistant Manager. I loved shipment days.

Courtesy of the amazing folks at Activision, Team Hero, and Dan Amrich (otherwise known as OneOfSwords), we were given not one..not two…not three, but FOUR complete Band Hero kits to give away as prizes during the Blogathon starting on July 31st!

Each kit includes: the Band Hero game, a microphone, guitar, and drum kit. This is the real deal folks! We have two kits for the Nintendo Wii, one kit for Xbox 360, and another for Sony PlayStation 3. All Band Hero equipment is fully compatible with Guitar Hero, which is awesome, and all kits are retail sealed.

Band Hero comes with an impressive 65 tracks straight out of the box, with some notable songs and artists like:

  • Bravery, The - Believe
  • Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
  • Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me (Live)
  • Culture Club - Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
  • David Bowie - Let’s Dance
  • Devo - Whip It
  • Duran Duran - Rio
  • Everclear - Santa Monica
  • Fall Out Boy - Sugar We’re Goin’ Down
  • Filter - Take A Picture
  • Finger Eleven - Paralyzer
  • Go-Go’s, The - Our Lips Are Sealed
  • Hinder - Lips Of An Angel
  • Jackson 5 - ABC
  • Janet Jackson - Black Cat
  • Joan Jett - Bad Reputation
  • Katrina And The Waves - Walking On Sunshine
  • Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
  • Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
  • Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Impression That I Get
  • N.E.R.D. - Rock Star
  • No Doubt - Just A Girl
  • No Doubt - Don’t Speak
  • OK Go - A Million Ways
  • Papa Roach - Lifeline
  • Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield
  • Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
  • Roy Orbison - Oh Pretty Woman
  • Snow Patrol - Take Back The City
  • Spice Girls - Wannabe
  • Styx - Mr. Roboto
  • Taylor Swift - Love Story
  • Taylor Swift - You Belong To Me
  • The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Woman
  • Tonic - If You Could Only See
  • Turtles, The - Happy Together
  • Village People - Y.M.C.A.
  • Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
  • …..and many more!

Band Hero has some pretty awesome features as well. With Party Play, your friends can drop in or out of any song, without fearing you’ll fail it, and at the push of a button. You can also switch your personal options, such as instrument or difficulty. Sing-Along mode allows you and up to 3 friends to jam out, karaoke style. Just like in Party Play, Sing-Along allows your friends to drop in or out. Perfect for harmonizing at certain places in songs.

Should you wish to have four singers, four drummers, or four guitarists, you have that option in Band Hero, amongst other combinations. Xbox 360 players who have Xbox Live Gold subscriptions can use their Avatar characters and rock out in any mode, whereas Nintendo Wii gamers have access to an exclusive mode called Mii Freestyle. In Mii Freestyle, players can create their own songs, and be able to record/edit/share their videos showcasing their Mii’s. In addition to being able to use your Avatar or Mii, both Taylor Swift and Maroon 5 frontman, Adam Levine, are playable characters. Guitar Hero owners will love how you can import your tracks from Guitar Hero: World Tour and Guitar Hero 5 straight into Band Hero. So much better than having to constantly change out discs, no?

Want to win one of these? Then donate, or help spread the word to earn entires into our raffle. Each one of these kits sells for around $150.00 retail, not including tax, so wouldn’t you love to win one just by donating $10 dollars? I’d say that’s a pretty good deal!

I can’t even begin to express the amount of gratitude I have right now, because I am completely overwhelmed by Activision’s generosity. They have gone above and beyond, and I can’t thank them enough.

So donate, tell your friends, get them involved, and spread the word about our great cause because it’s all about Chi!

- Me

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One Love for Chi/Blogathon Fundraiser is on!

** Update - Since writing this post, prizes from Activision, Central Valley Buzz, Mumbo Jumbo Games, and the ECA have arrived. More packages are expected any day now, so check back often!**

Hey there readers! So I know that on July 1st we were supposed to start with our Blogathon fundraiser, but there was an issue with their site and servers. We were told to wait until Monday, and it’s already halfway done, with no mention of starting in sight. So, instead of waiting any longer, let’s do this!

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Classic Games: Still great, or is it just nostalgia?

Last Tuesday, for my birthday, I whipped out my NES and played a beloved game from my childhood, Crystalis. At first I was pretty scared to pop it in, because what if I didn’t feel the same way about it anymore? What if the gameplay or story was too simplistic for my current gaming tastes? What if I don’t enjoy it, and those memories are ruined?

As a little girl, I slept in the same bed as my Grandmother, and would sneak out of it every midnight to go into the extra bedroom that housed my NES. Then, until I had to start getting ready for elementary school, I’d play Crystalis on very low volume so I wouldn’t wake anybody up. I did that for weeks until I eventually beat it. When I played Crystalis last week, it was as if those 20+ years inbetween never happened. I remembered where everything was, I remembered the names of characters and cities, and I even remembered what to do. The only thing that I found different was how short the game felt, but I’m a lot older now, my gaming skills have gotten better over time, and since I knew where everything was, I was able to move through the game faster than when I was a child. Some games are timeless like Contra, Metroid, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, Altered Beast, Toe Jam & Earl, Super Mario series, and many more, but what about the titles that fail to stand the test of time?

Sure, gaming graphics have changed, but we all know that no matter how visually gorgeous something is, everything else about it can be complete shit. The same goes for the opposite too. Take Final Fantasy VII for example: its graphics at the time were below what the PlayStation console was able to handle, but to this day it’s constantly lauded as the best in the entire franchise. While I strongly disagree with that opinion, it’s a solid case of how, regardless of graphics, gamers can still find a game completely enjoyable well into the future. Gameplay and controls have changed too, but so have the controllers. Is this really a plus? With the original NES controller, you had a d-pad, start/select buttons, and the A/B buttons to perform actions. Nowadays, gamers have to factor in a d-pad, two analog joysticks, left and right triggers, left and right bumper buttons, start/select buttons, four action buttons, and sometimes there is even a home button. Compare the controls for Super Mario on NES, or even SNES, to what is required for Super Mario Galaxy, and it’s insane. Sometimes keeping it simple really pays off.

The music has changed drastically. In our youthful days, MIDI tracks were all the rage, but now we are given some really amazing soundtracks, and also the option of listening to our own music when gaming (Sidenote: Back in the day, I would sometimes pop in a cassette or listen to the radio when playing a game, so it’s nice to see how that has evolved. A prominent memory I have is playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 at a neighbors house and hearing Evil Empire by Rage Against the Machine for the very first time). Gamers who owned a Sega Genesis should remember the funky soundtrack from Toe Jam & Earl, and NES owners can probably sing every single Super Mario track ever made. Right now I have the theme song to Legend of Zelda in my head, and that will forever be a classic tune.

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What hasn’t changed much are the stories. We are still playing adventure games, still playing shooters, and still escaping into elaborate worlds where we are constantly saving the day. Granted, some stories are better than others, but it’s pretty much the same. As children we assumed the roles of Mario, and were tasked with rescuing the Princess from the evil Bowser. For some reason, and 20+ years later, Princess Peach keeps neglecting to hire herself a bodyguard, and Bowser still hasn’t learned his lesson. We have seen some big twists like how Samus Aran was really a female, Aeris getting killed by Sephiroth, and finding out that in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic you were actually Revan. Obviously there are so many more moments that could be listed, but those are the main ones that popped into my head right now.

With Crystalis, I really lucked out because it’s a game that I will always love, and will always find enjoyable. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for all games. So readers, I ask you this: are your fond gaming memories only because of your childhood nostalgia, or were we just given some really amazing games back then?

Check out some classic NES and Genesis games for old times sake. How many do you remember?:

- Me

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Chocolatier: Sweet Society for Facebook review

For the past 48 hours, I’ve been binging on Chocolatier: Sweet Society by PlayFirst for Facebook. I’m already hooked, and I know that no good can come of this.

I know, it was only a couple of weeks ago where I ranted about people playing games on Facebook, but I stayed true to my word and I haven’t been flooding my friends with status updates. Had I chosen to do that, my friends would be well aware of how, in just a short amount of time, I’ve boosted myself up to a level 13, and I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty awesome at this. I generally try to avoid these kind of games for one main reason: I have an addictive personality. Whenever I begin something like this, I always have to be number one, and I have to unlock everything. Nine times out of ten, I won’t stop until I do so.

Many of you are probably already familiar with PlayFirst. They are the ones behind the popular Diner Dash series, Dream Chronicles series, and other personal favorites of mine like Wedding Dash and Sally’s Spa. Every single PlayFirst game I’ve had the pleasure of getting my hands on, I instantly loved and couldn’t put it down. If you were to thumb through my iPhone apps, you would find multiple PlayFirst titles because that’s how good they are. I will admit, I did have some reservations about Chocolatier: Sweet Society, but it was only due to the fact that it was on Facebook, and not another platform.

In Chocolatier, your main goal is to keep the chocolate flowing so your experience and prestige increase. When you hit certain levels, more recipes are unlocked, and more items are available for your Shoppe like display tables, wallpapers, flooring, and decorations. To celebrate the upcoming Fourth of July holiday, PlayFirst has rolled out some fantastic patriotic decor ranging from flooring to the table swag. I’m pretty confident that for future holidays and events, they will release other appropriately themed items.

When I began Chocolatier, I was immediately thrown in to a tutorial that led me through the chocolate making process, step by step. I found it to be quite handy because, to be honest, most games these days just assume the player will start knowing how to do it all. After creating my very first batch of ‘basic chocolate bars’, I began to focus on my Shoppe. Set in San Francisco, circa 1882, you really get that old-world feel, especially through your decor choices. Even your Shoppe patrons are dressed in the fashions of that time period, and I appreciated the attention to detail.

Graphically, the game is done very well. The colors are rich and vibrant, the lines are crisp and smooth, and everything is so aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Out of all the Facebook games I’ve played, Chocolatier: Sweet Society is easily in my top 3 in terms of appearance, and to be honest, it’s something I’d expect from a Nintendo DS title, not a free online game. Now, where Chocolatier really soars is in the music. When you are in your Factory, there is a specific, incredibly pleasant tune, and when you switch over to your Shoppe, you are greeted with a different one. Normally I mute games like this, because I find the songs too repetitive, and borderline annoying. Not with Chocolatier. As I’m writing this, I’m playing the game, and I can hear the steam pumping out of my five machines. It’s rather soothing.

The gameplay is what you’d expect from a game like this: basic, point and click, but it doesn’t get boring or monotonous. I enjoyed the simplicity because this is a game where complicated  controls or sequences would ruin it. When creating a batch of chocolate, it’s fairly simple. Just click on your machine, and select which chocolate variation you wish to create. Then you go and click on your machine three more times, to properly mix ingredients and melt it all down. Finally, the most important step: waiting. Your initial recipe only calls for a 5 minute wait time, but there are chocolates I’ve created where it takes 8 hours to complete. Last night I set some to be ready in 12 hours, ensuring that in the morning I’d have product to place in my Shoppe.

The key to games like these is to plan. Plan ahead if you want to be successful. Know that you have somewhere to go? Create a chocolate that will take a couple of hours to complete. Playing before bedtime? Set a chocolate that will be done in either 8 or 12 hours. It really is that simple. When I play a game that requires real-time, I make the labor intensive items during the night, and then obsessive-compulsively binge on the other items during the day. I can’t even begin to tell you how many chocolate bars with peanuts, milk chocolate, chocolate bars with honey, and chocolate bars with lemon I made yesterday.

Chocolatier really stands out from other Facebook games due to the fact that your Shoppe and Factory are in two separate locations. There was a game I played a few months ago where you run your own cafe, but the kitchen and dining area was in the same cramped space. Needless to say I quickly gave up on that because it was too congested. Having my machines separate from my display tables is so helpful because I can focus on both independently. Another stand out feature is this enjoyable mini-game called “Factory Optimizer”. With “Factory Optimizer” you are able to boost your machines, resulting in chocolates being made faster. All you have to do is shoot ingredients onto the production machine, matching it to the recipe shown in the upper right corner. The higher your score, the better your machines will perform. Sadly, you can only play “Factory Optimizer” once a day, but it’s one of those things where something so small can make a huge difference in terms of enjoyability.

To wrap things up, I love Chocolatier: Sweet Society, and if I had to rate it on a scale from 1 to 10, I’d give it a 8.5. I can’t give it a perfect score for a few reasons: you currently can’t sell back any items (tables, flooring, etc) you are no longer using so they just sit in your inventory, I haven’t been able to find a setting permanently disabling the occasional pop-up asking if I want to share my achievements with my friends, I wish they had a feature where for every batch of a particular chocolate it would count towards mastering it and awarding you extra experience, and finally because it’s so addictive. When going to bed the other night, I was worried that I would run out of chocolates and my prestige level would drastically drop, and yesterday when our laptop crashed, making it unavailable for hours, I again became worried about my chocolates.

So there you have it. PlayFirst has, again, created something so ridiculously entrancing that I might as well sign my entire life over to them. Why? Because in the middle of managing my Shoppe and typing up this review, I installed the Chocolatier app on my iPhone. You’ll have to excuse me now because I have to go eat some chocolate, and spend the rest of my Friday building up my cocoa empire.

- Me

* Chocolatier is available for Facebook, PC/Mac, Nintendo DS, Windows Mobile, and iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad

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Huggies Jeans…Diapers?

Lately I’ve been watching television, which is rare since I mostly spend my time either playing video games or on the computer. One commercial in particular has caught my eye, and as I type this, it’s on TV. No lie.

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Huggies diapers, that look like jeans. Why? Fortunately they are limited edition, because I think these are just horrid. There is no way I would put these on a child, or anybody for that matter. When looking at the Huggies website, they say how the fashion world is going ga-ga for diapers, and that wearing them is “the coolest you’ll look pooping in your pants.” You can’t make this stuff up folks.

- Me

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‘Grown Ups’ Review

Everybody should go out and see Grown Ups while it’s still in theaters, but be careful of who you sit next to. With that out of the way, let’s get into just how hilarious Grown Ups really is.

The plot for the movie is that the five main stars (Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider) are all childhood friends who played on the school basketball team together. They were also very fond of their Coach, who praised them when they won a major game, and gave them some life lessons. Sadly Coach dies, and all of the friends who have gone their separate ways get a phone call, informing them of his passing.

Adam Sandler’s character is a big shot in Hollywood as an Agent. He has three children, lives in a palatial home, and is married to a top fashion designer, portrayed by the gorgeous Salma Hayek. Chris Rock is a stay-at-home father who spends his days cleaning, cooking, and trying to keep his pregnant wife, Maya Rudolph, happy along with their two children and highly opinionated Mother In-Law. Kevin James is also married, to Maria Bello, with two children, and while we don’t get too much of a back story in the beginning, we do as the movie goes on. David Spade is unmarried, no children, and is living the life of an irresponsible lush - a character he does very well. Rob Schneiders character was one of my favorites. He was this little oompa loompa hippie who had a wife who’s old enough to be my grandmother, and his flopping hairpiece provided many laughs. Oddly enough he ends up having a couple of hot daughters, but that isn’t until much later in the film.

The writers did a good job of letting us know just who each character is, and we were able to get a good feel for their personalities. It’s very obvious that the guys all get along, and you can easily tell that they had a blast making the movie together, so watching them interact is very natural, and it makes for a great film. There were times though, where I thought the movie was about to end, but it kept on going, and while some people in the theater were complaining on when it was going to end, I never once thought that.

Some of my favorite moments were when the guys started to laugh at Rob’s performance at Coach’s funeral, arrow roulette, the dog with the turkey barks, Spade getting sloshed and put in the closet, and almost the entire section where they go to the water park. If you are still skeptical about seeing this movie, hear me out…especially if you’re a Salma Hayek fan.

At the water park, she wears a pretty hot bathing suit, but towards the end is the good stuff. Fans of Dogma will remember her (NSFW!!!) stripper scene where she donned a school girl outfit with pigtails. In Grown Ups we are treated to her running in slow-motion, wearing this tight, semi-revealing cheerleader costume, and she is rockin’ the pigtails again! Yeeaaaah baby! I loved seeing Colin Quinn in the flick, even though his character was a bit of a dick (oh, I rhymed!), and Steve Buscemi was pretty funny too, but wow is he incredibly pale, and getting old too! It’s been years since I’ve seen Tim Meadows in anything, and although it was brief, it was better than nothing.

If you are a fan of Sandler’s movies, then you will love Grown Ups. It is a light-hearted film that focuses on family, how people from our childhood can impact the rest of our lives, and friendships. I’d recommend it to anybody who needs a laugh, or for the simple fact that it’s a great movie. Grown Ups is definitely a title I’d like to get once it comes out on DVD, but don’t bother waiting through the credits hoping for deleted scenes or anything like that. There is nothing there.

- Me

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Movie Madness

Yesterday Chris and I went to see ‘Grown Ups,’ the new Adam Sandler movie. While the movie itself was great, almost everything else about it wasn’t.

Normally we go to Edwards Cinemas up in River Park, but Chris wanted to go all the way out to Sierra Vista because of the amazing candy store, Powell’s Sweet Shoppe. We arrived at the theater to buy tickets 5 minutes after the current ‘Grown Ups’ showing started, and since that was the only movie we wanted to see, we had to wait almost an hour and a half for the next showing.

Unfortunately we went to Powell’s before purchasing tickets, but even if we did the events in reverse, we still wouldn’t have made it in time. Instead we went and got some lunch at the nearby Panera Bread to help soak up some of that time. I got my beloved Napa Almond Chicken Salad Sandwich, and Chris tried a Chicken Caesar Sandwich. While sitting there, we thought about going to a game store that was inside the mall, but the shoes I had on were hurting my pinkie toes, so walking too much started to become torture. Instead I came up with the stupid idea to sit inside the theater until the movie started. Mind you, we still had over 45 minutes by this point.

Inside the theater, I thought there were tables and chairs, like in Edwards, but we got to sit on some hard, cold marble rather than comfy chairs. They had the AC on full blast, so for most of that time I was rather chilly. Since the electronic billboard still said that the current movie was seated, we waited, patiently, and were glad to both own iPhones. When the people started to come out of the theater, the electronic sign said that the next seating wouldn’t start for another 30 minutes, probably to clean the theater I assume. Since I can clearly read, I had no problem following what it said.

Here is where things get a little wonky. At Edwards, each theater has two doors leading into each one - one from the left side, and the other from the right. When there was like a minute left on that clock, and with Chris going to purchase us a couple bottles of water, I decided to head inside and secure us some nice seats. Since the door to the right side was closed, I went in through the left since that one was open and that meant I wouldn’t have to touch a door handle (people these days have poor hand-washing skills, so don’t judge me). When I got inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The thing was already over halfway filled, and the only center seats were in the second to top row, between two families. We both hate to sit off to the side, so I snagged those and waited for Chris to come in. While waiting, I tweeted on how the sign said to wait a specific amount of time, on how everybody in here is an illiterate asshole, and went on to describe the incredibly annoying child who was sitting behind me, kicking on the seat. (Side note: parents, if you read this and have children who do this to other movie-goers, either stop the little bastards or remove them from the theater, because I can assure you that one day, some adult is going to go postal on your little demon spawn. You’ve been warned.)

At one point I saw Chris come in to look for me, and to get his attention I pointed and waved at him, but when I saw him exit the theater, I figured that he didn’t see me, and that maybe he went to complain. If there was a sign telling people to wait before entering, and with not even a minute left over half of the room was filled, and no employee enforced anything, I’d probably complain too. So, I proceeded to sit there, having to listen to this annoying, and loud couple to the right of me smack on their popcorn, and comment on almost everything. Minutes passed before I saw Chris again, and by that time the first preview had started, but he was still standing by the entrance. I sa him pointing to the movie screen, and I thought he was trying to ask me if I still wanted to see the movie. It’s a little difficult to make out what a person is saying when you can barely see them, and you have no form of verbal communication to fully grasp what they are trying to say. And with that, I got up, to see what he wanted.

When I did get to him, what he asked me confused me because the words that came out of his mouth were this “Do you want to see this movie?” I said that of course I did, but then he went on to say “This is Toy Story 3.” Oops? Apparently, unlike Edwards with the two doors, the doors to the left lead into one theater, and the doors to the right lead into another. From the angle we sat at in the lobby while waiting, I was only able to see any signage indicating that particular theater was for ‘Grown Ups‘. I felt like an idiot, but at least I got a good laugh out of it. We exited that one and went into the correct one, where I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was pretty empty, so we were able to get almost an entire row to ourselves, until this one family came in…. (pretty ominous, eh?)

Now, an entire row, and there was like 7 of them, mostly all devilish children, and the adult who chose to it next to me came with all of these bags, which ended up coming on over to part of my chair (thanks, asshole), and then she had a young boy sit on her lap. The children, who were easily younger than 5, were loud, talked almost constantly throughout the movie, one made a shotgun sound multiple times (cocking the gun and shooting it repeatedly), and then when that parent got up and left with a female friend of hers to do whatever, the child next to me proceeded to bounce up and down on his chair, furiously shaking mine.

Lately, I’ve been getting this strange vertigo, and I first noticed it when riding elevators. It’s not fun, and I was starting to get seriously nauseated. The parent on the other end didn’t reprimand the child, and he was bouncing so hard that it was even shaking Chris, who was two seats down from the little shit. Next to the hellspawn was a little girl, who kept doing something rather loudly, but I couldn’t tell what it was since it was dark…and then the bouncing started again. I’m so glad the movie was enjoyable otherwise I would’ve lost it. When the movie was over, I was still nauseated, I had a bit of a headache, and all I wanted to do was go home.

It’s bad enough I can’t stand a majority of the human race, much less society, and I already have problems with movie theaters - I have a bit of agoraphobia. So, if that particular family ever stumbles upon this blog, thank you for being irresponsible adults, thank you for not teaching your children to be assholes in public, and I hope, for the sake of this planet, that you cease to produce any more.

Yay movies!

- Me

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