Dear Ubisoft: Please Make This Happen

Ever since I played the first Assassin’s Creed, I’ve wanted to be as badass as Altaïr or Ezio. I want the outfit (preferably Altaïr’s), I want the hidden blade (you all have no idea how handy that would be), and I would love to be able to scale buildings with ease and hop around from place to place. Sadly, I am a 28 year old female with no awesome costume, no awesome hidden blade bracer, and a fear of heights. The other morning a glorious idea came to me while laying in bed with Chris, and it needs to become reality…

Ubisoft should create a massive theme park, and by massive, I mean like Walt Disney World massive: as large as the entire city of San Francisco, or something equivalent. The theme park… wait for it… will allow goers to have a complete Assassin’s Creed experience, and if the park is the size I’m thinking of, architects and contractors could create an amazing city. In the price of admission visitors would get a costume, the ability to run around on top of buildings and pretty much anywhere in the park, and multiple daily events would happen in various places that would allow some major characters (played by actors who would work at the park, similar to how Disney has chicks playing princesses) to get “assassinated”.

Of course to ensure the safety of the patrons, they would be attached to harnesses, like one would wear when performing stunts in movies or going to a rock climbing gym. I figure that the wires could be attached to a special mechanism that would go all over the top of the park, allowing everybody to climb buildings or jump from wooden posts and not have to worry about falling and breaking something. Sure, the park would have to be covered by a ridiculous insurance policy, but I think patrons could easy sign a waiver of some sort when entering the park, like one would sign when doing some other “dangerous” activity like bungee jumping.

Think about it though… this would be perfect. How many of you would love to live out this video game, in a massive space, and get to do all of the things you only thought were possible with a controller? I’d want to go daily, and I am confident that it would be a massive hit. It also would be the first of its kind, and a gaming triumph! Being able to do the Leap of Faith, maybe given a special map that would show you where hideouts were so you could get assassin assignments… I know I’d personally love to grab a bunch of my friends and go there for my birthday, or any other day really. With a place like that, the possibilities would truly be endless, and people would be doing something active while having a lot of fun in the process.

Sure the upfront costs would be steep, but the game franchise is incredibly popular, people would easily come from out of the country to visit, and it would be so damn unique. No other theme park in the world would be able to compete with it. So, what do you all think? Would you go, or do you think it would be a major flop?

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7 Responses to “Dear Ubisoft: Please Make This Happen”

  1. standy says:

    It’s a nice idea in theory, but personally it reminds me too much of those stupid campy theatre companies that go around to events, peoples houses etc and do the pretend “act out a murder” thing, only on a much larger scale.

  2. dikemizines says:

    This is a really bad idea. Not only would chords suspending over the park make for some tangling issues in terms of people interacting with eachother, but it would just ruin the authenticity of climbing up a wall.

    In theory it would work, but someones bound to fall.

    Also, in your first paragraph you state that you got the idea well in bed with Chris? Thats completely irrelevant. You sound like a teenage boy on a video game forum bragging that he has a girlfriend.I’d expect it from a boy because we can’t get any unless we’ve been given a chance.

    I think you get it.


    • lindsey says:

      It’s not a bad idea, and as for the cords (chords applies to music), it’s not like I laid out a perfect schematic saying this is how it’s going to work flawlessly. Obviously the idea was just that… an idea. Should it be picked up and used, I imagine that the owners would get in touch with the proper people necessary for working all of that out, but that wasn’t what the article was about.

      As for you thinking that I’m bragging or whatever, if you were a regular of this site, you would know that I, Lindsey, am the co-founder along with my husband Chris. For those who frequent, or are long-time readers, that kind of information isn’t irrelevant. If you mistook the sentence as me saying that I was in the middle of some naughty business when the idea occurred, then I apologize. We were simply discussing our dreams from the previous night and they both, coincidentally, featured aspects of the Assassin’s Creed game since we are both playing through Brotherhood right now.

  3. Joe says:

    Just wait for virtual reality, where we will be able to sit on our couch, put on a helmet with visor and be able to control our every move with our mind. The helmet will give feedback to our brain so our body will feel everything that’s going on (it will actually feel like you are grabbing that ledge). It will kinda be like avatar or the matrix or surrogates. It will feel completely real but you will be in the comfort of your own home. Best of all is that you won’t have to be in top physical shape to do it, meaning when this technology comes out in 50 years you will still be able to run around like altair at 80. I doubt this technology is that far off, I saw a helmet at CES a couple years ago that let players play pong with their mind, worked surprising well. Anyway this is probably your best bet for having a go at the assassin experience. Or you could just learn parkour, put on the costume, and run around town climbing on buildings. Sure you might get arrested but… well I lost my train of thought.

    P.S. The leap of faith is the most unrealistic thing I have ever seen, ever. There is no way someone could pull that off without dieing, let alone not breaking the freaking barrel of hay. However I loving doing it in the game.

  4. lindsey says:

    Haha, Joe I agree about the Leap of Faith. I was playing either yesterday or today and mentioned that to my husband. To land in a bale of hay, not only would it probably cut your skin, but it’s not cushy. It sure looks awesome though.

    As far as the parkour, I know my physical limits lol! I’ve watched many a parkour video and am blown away at some of the stuff those guys do. I have a pretty ridiculous fear of heights (standing on a chair sometimes freaks me out), but if I had a harness or something attached to me, I’d be much more at ease.

    The VR helmets sound pretty awesome. We’ll definitely see if they come back at the CES that’s coming up next month, so thanks for the tip! :)

  5. Austin says:

    This reminds me of an idea I had for a multi level laser tag arena.

    a huge multi floor facility, with all kinds of hiding spots and what not, like in a FPS deathmatch.

    make different kinds of laser guns, it’s be so much fun(and paintballs can hurt too often)

    *that guy was a troll with no imagination*

    I would love to see an “experience” park, a means to live out your fantasies. if they made it a place where only one person could play at a time, and you had to complete a training course, like if the whole thing was a summer camp experience. You pay a decent fee, and then you spend a month at this camp, and at the end you get a chance to show what you have learned

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