Not all stories have happy endings.  Once upon a time, so called “spoof” films were intelligent, well-written, relevant, and genuinely funny.  Some parody films have become classic films in their own right.  Films such as Blazing Saddles, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Naked Gun, and Airplane! have provided phrases that are still quoted to this day, decades after they were released.  Blazing Saddles has had me saying “Excuse me while I whip this out” for years, Holy Grail gave me the inimitable joy of “SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT! …I got better.”, Naked Gun had a “Nice beaver!”, and Airplane!, well, surely you know at least one line from Airplane!

Of course I do, and don’t call me Shirley.

Then came Scary Movie.  Scary Movie was, for the most part, well done.  It referenced a handful of similar “thriller” movies, and tied everything together in a very funny way.  The legacy Scary Movie has left us, however, is abominable.  Scary Movie 3 & 4 were terrible, Not Another Teen Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie, Dance Flick, and others like these have been atrocious.  Intelligence, wit, relevance, and actual humor were tossed aside in favor of seemingly random pop culture references strung together with only the barest resemblance of a plot.  Scary Movie 5 has been announced for 2011, and 2010 will see the release of Vampires Suck, a spoof movie that supposedly focuses on the current vampire trend of films like Twilight.  For some reason, this “vampire” movie spends time on Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, the MTV crapfest known as Jersey Shore, and the (in my opinion) overrated Lady Gaga.  These three things are major focal points of the trailer.  Why?  What does any of that have to do with vampires?  Nothing.  It’s all filler aimed at capturing as many demographics as possible.

I hate what has happened to this once great genre, and I hate that people continue to fall prey to the shameless money grabs of these movies.  Please, stop paying these people to further the death of a genre.

-[insert YOU EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN NAKED? here]