Almost all of you who read this blog know about our dog Donnie. For those of you who don’t, last year Chris and I adopted a dog who was already named Donnie. At the time he was 4, was owner released, and is a Terrier/Chihuahua mix. Luckily Donnie took on more of the Terrier traits and personality than the shakey Chihuahua.

We found out right away that Donnie wasn’t house trained, but at the time it wasn’t a problem since he was in a backyard. In December of last year, we moved into our current home which is an apartment and Donnie didn’t come with us right away. Instead we waited for us to get settled in so that we could bring him over, and we needed to save up for the massive $400.00 pet deposit.

When Donnie eventually joined us in February, we went to PetSmart to get him some stuff. After shopping, we spent about $230.00 on a crate for him, food, new water bowls and dishes, a pet bed, and some other stuff. The crate was so that he could be kept in it over night because the last thing we needed was to wake up and see a piss filled carpet and crap all over the place. We even got a crate one size bigger so that he would have a side to sleep on, with a little mattress pad of course, and room to walk around in. We also made sure that food and water bowls were in there too.

So far he has done well in the crate. He threw up once in it and I can’t remember any other accidents until yesterday morning.

Let me set it up for you all….

On the night of June 29th, Chris and I stayed up late. The last time Donnie went to use the restroom was close to 1 in the morning which would’ve made it the 30th. Typically Donnie is put away around 10-11 and not taken out until I wake up which varies between 9 and close to 11. On the morning of the 30th, Chris woke up at his usual time of 6:15 and went to the bathroom. He does this every morning but that time I heard him say…”oh goddamnit!” Of course that woke me up and when I looked in the direction of the bathroom, I saw Chris start to head towards the kitchen. I thought he was running late and that he was in a rush. Unfortunately I was wrong.

Chris said “oh goddamnit!” because he smelled shit. Originally he thought it was coming from Moogles litter box because we keep that in the bathroom. When he saw no evidence, he then started to look around on the floor. Nothing was there. When he went into the kitchen and looked at Donnie’s crate… he found the culprit.

In the crate there were two big piles of shit. One was of a regular consistency that was partially on the floor of the crate and partially on his little mattress, the other was very squishy and only half of that made it into the crate. The rest, lovingly, was on our kitchen tile. I offered to clean it up but Chris refused to let me get out of bed, knowing that once I did I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep.

Poor Chris took Donnie outside onto the patio, and then proceeded to clean out the kennel, gagging the entire time due to the horrible stench. It was so strong, and so putrid, that you could smell it throughout the entire apartment. I obviously had no clue since I was asleep when it happened, but as I started to wake up more my sense of smell kicked in. It was not pretty. I honestly thought he was going to vomit, and I know he thought so too because he told me.

Needless to say, Chris was a little late to work but we thought the crisis was over.

Oh how wrong I was AGAIN!

A few hours later, I woke up around 9:40 to the sound of Donnie’s nails “tap dancing” around on the floor of the kennel. Moogle was in bed with me so I knew she wasn’t antagonizing him. Since it was really loud, I yelled at Donnie to “shush it” so that I could lay in bed for a few more minutes.

The sound didn’t stop. I kept hearing the tippity tappity of his nails and I knew that something was up. I knew, in the pit of my stomach, that I was going to find a huge mess. I was correct. As I rounded the corner to the kitchen I could smell it. Chris got the easy round of his shit, I got the disaster.

It was everywhere, and when I say everywhere…. I mean it. It was all over the inside of his kennel. It almost looked like there was a layer of watery mud in there. It even sprayed out onto the tile floor. I could also see that there was a pretty decent amount of piss in there too.

I was so angry that I picked up the entire crate, being oh so careful not to spill the contents on myself or the carpet, and put the entire thing in our bathtub. I ran the water at a nice temperature, and showered the entire thing down… with Donnie inside of it.

After I was done with that, I moved him and the crate outside onto the patio. It was hot so I put him in the shade, gave him food and water with ice cubes inside of it, and then proceeded to mop down the kitchen tile.

I hoped that was the last of it, but I was wrong… for the third time.

A few hours later from hosing Donnie down in the shower, I saw him circling around the inside of his crate. Sometimes he does this when he is trying to find a spot to sit or lay down, but he instead chose to blow shit out of his ass… using a lot of force I might add. It came out so fast that I didn’t have enough time to run to the sliding glass door and get him out.

Great thing was, there were sound effects too. As soon as it squished out of his butt, I heard this “PFFFTTTTT!!!!” It was so loud that I was able to hear it loud and clear 10 feet away, and through our sliding glass door.

Since I wasn’t about to drag the crate back inside again, I flushed it out with water that I brought outside in a large bowl. You can all imagine how many trips I had to make going back and forth…

Thankfully, that was the last of his shit we had to worry about and he didn’t make a mess in his crate for the rest of the day. He also made it through the night without any mistakes and he just went outside to use the world as his toilet. Hopefully it was just a little stomach bug and it has passed, but I will be keeping a close eye on him and he is back in his crate for right now.

Donnie truly is living up to his nickname I gave him… Mr. Poopy Duper!

- She Who Has The Last Word